Some marriages don't make it through adoption. I won't pretend otherwise.I watched several couples we admired in our early adoption journey end in divorce. I lived through seasons where I believed divorce was never an option—until I realized that knowing separation was a viable choice gave me the freedom to stay.

AS HUMANS WE OFTEN ENCOUNTER MISPERCEPTIONS AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS. People are naturally skeptical of things that are different. Even prior to adopting you’ve likely faced misunderstanding and misperceptions due to your Christian beliefs or in other contexts. In our adoptive families, there is often lots of fuel for the fires of skepticism, leading to flames of misperceptions and misunderstandings.  These can even grow into a raging wildfire threatening to overtake the entire structure of the family. 

🎧 Listen to episodeDo you sometimes feel like you're in a fog? Fog = F - O - G  for Fear, Obligation, Guilt. If you feel like you're in a lingering fog in your adoptive family this is for you.

How Churches Can Support Women who are Moms in Complex Families such as Adoptive Moms & Step-MomsJust imagine…You're a mom, and you're not the child's first mom. They don’t automatically look to you as their home base, as “mom”.  You feel alone, unsupported, and like you don't quite fit in anywhere, and while your church has been an integral part of your life for years, you’re feeling less and less connected, less and less understood, less and less supported.

Listen to episodeSeason 4, Episode 3Have you ever been to the eye doctor and found out that your vision prescription has changed? Similarly, there are factors that can limit our relational vision, and it can change over time as well.  It can be helpful to our vision of our relationships to look through different lenses.  Below I share some thoughts on different types of lenses for you to consider - especially if there are any hints or clues that your current lens might be causing you to miss something. 

🎧 Listen to episodeWouldn’t you agree that parenting is sometimes hard work? How about when the dynamics of family life change with the addition of adopted children or stepchildren? In my experience as an adoptive mom, it can be difficult to navigate through conflicting advice, unreasonable expectations, and ever-evolving relationships in a bustling household. 

🎧 Listen to episodeDoes Your Adopted Child Have Lingering Effects of Their Prior Trauma? When a child is adopted, it is often thought that their previous traumatic experiences will automatically disappear. However, this is not always the case. In fact, many adopted children suffer from the effects of their childhood trauma long after they have been removed from the abusive environment.This can be due to a number of factors. For example, some adoptees may feel like they are not worthy of love and support because they were given up by their birth parents. Others may feel like they are constantly being judged by others because of their adoption status. As a result, these adoptees may struggle to form healthy relationships with others and may struggle with self-esteem issues.

 From the paperwork & legalities to the physical and emotional tolls, there's no denying that adoption is a BIG undertaking. If you're thinking about becoming an adoptive parent, or are in the process of adopting, you're probably aware of many challenges that come with the territory.

Becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding, but also challenging, experiences a person can have. I can tell you from experience that for adoptive moms, there are added challenges that come with raising children who have experienced early childhood traumas.  In particular, losing the primary biological relationship with their first mom causes deep wounds.  

Jill Briscoe has written about certain things moms cannot do. She looks to the Bible and in particular Psalms 139 so let’s take a look there too. But first, I want to share the link to Jill