🎧 Listen to episode - Apple🎧 Listen to episode - SpotifyHave you ever wondered how a tiny seed, when planted in the right environment, receives nurturing care, and is given time to grow, can blossom into a beautiful plant? This natural process mirrors the journey many adoptive families embark upon. In the garden of family life, each member is both a gardener and a budding plant, contributing to and benefiting from the nurturing environment of the family. But as with any garden, there are obstacles along the way.

🎧 Listen to episode - Apple🎧 Listen to episode - SpotifyIf your adopted child has no memories or very limited memories about their life prior to coming to live with you, does that mean that

🎧 Listen to episode - Apple🎧 Listen to episode - SpotifyWelcome to Tuesday's Trauma Tips here on the 2nd Moms Circle podcast for Christian Adoptive Moms. I'm Dawn Baggett, your host.

🎧 Listen to episode - Apple🎧 Listen to episode - Spotify“BECAUSE I CANNN…!!”I vividly remember those words coming from my teenage daughter as I questioned her about her motivation for something she had done. Not the words of someone who is open to a reflective dialog or reasoned conversation. And that was that. 

AS HUMANS WE OFTEN ENCOUNTER MISPERCEPTIONS AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS. People are naturally skeptical of things that are different. Even prior to adopting you’ve likely faced misunderstanding and misperceptions due to your Christian beliefs or in other contexts. In our adoptive families, there is often lots of fuel for the fires of skepticism, leading to flames of misperceptions and misunderstandings.  These can even grow into a raging wildfire threatening to overtake the entire structure of the family. 

Today’s topic is emotional boundaries.  In particular on this episode I’m focusing on emotional boundaries for moms like me.  In many of our adoptive families children have suffered an enormous degree of trauma and in particular the loss of not only their first mother but other caregivers as well in their formative years. Different Types of BoundariesYou’ve seen & heard quite a bit about setting boundaries by now I suppose.  And perhaps you have a good grip on what it means to set personal boundaries with others, and have even put this into practice in your own life. Even so, to make sure that we’re on the same page today, you need to know that what I mean by the word “boundaries” is that dividing line (boundary) you make to protect something of yours from trespass by another that says you will not continue past that line (boundary) with the other person.  In practice it may sound something like, “I will not continue listening to you yell obscenities at me;” a boundary to protect your finances might sound like, “I will not continue paying you while your work is unfinished;” one to protect property – “I won’t leave without locking the door first”; one to protect physical safety –  “I won’t stay in the house where there are unsecured weapons.”With all these various boundaries to protect different things, there may be an emotional component. But today I want us to pick apart and focus primarily on emotional boundaries. You may set boundaries to protect your time, your physical body, your work/ability to get work done, your belongings.  You can also set boundaries to protect your emotional safety. 

How Churches Can Support Women who are Moms in Complex Families such as Adoptive Moms & Step-MomsJust imagine…You're a mom, and you're not the child's first mom. They don’t automatically look to you as their home base, as “mom”.  You feel alone, unsupported, and like you don't quite fit in anywhere, and while your church has been an integral part of your life for years, you’re feeling less and less connected, less and less understood, less and less supported.

🎧 Listen to episodeYou May Be at Greater Risk for Burnout, Compassion Fatigue or Secondary Trauma!As an adoptive mom you may be at a heightened risk for burnout, compassion fatigue or secondary trauma as primary caregiver for high need children and teens.  In many adoptive families the children have suffered an enormous degree of trauma and in particular the loss of not only their first mother but other caregivers as well in their formative years. This can impact them long-term in various ways, complicating your role as their parent-caregiver. 

Q. What is Parental Abuse? A. Parental abuse, also called by other names (CPV - Child to Parent Violence; APV - Adolescent to Parent Violence)  is when a child/adolescent abuses a parent.This can be done through words (threatening) or physical actions, and often results in fear for the safety of the abused parent. It usually refers to physical violence.  However there are other types of abuse as well.If you are being threatened or physically harmed by your teenager, it is important to take steps to ensure your safety. This may mean leaving the home temporarily until things calm down, calling the police, or seeking help from a friend or family member. 

🎧 Listen to episodeDoes Your Adopted Child Have Lingering Effects of Their Prior Trauma? When a child is adopted, it is often thought that their previous traumatic experiences will automatically disappear. However, this is not always the case. In fact, many adopted children suffer from the effects of their childhood trauma long after they have been removed from the abusive environment.This can be due to a number of factors. For example, some adoptees may feel like they are not worthy of love and support because they were given up by their birth parents. Others may feel like they are constantly being judged by others because of their adoption status. As a result, these adoptees may struggle to form healthy relationships with others and may struggle with self-esteem issues.