As adoptive mothers, we often pour our hearts and souls into nurturing our children, hoping to create a loving and stable environment...Yet, facing rejection from the very children we cherish can be a painful and bewildering experience. This is a path I know well, not only as an experienced adoptive mom but also as a post-adoption mom coach. Today, I want to offer a fresh perspective on this heart-wrenching experience, inspired by a biblical narrative of rejection — the story of the prophet Samuel from I Samuel 8:4-9.Plus -- I am sharing a four part  W.A.R.N. strategy -- a Biblical approach directly from this passage! Learn the exact steps for handling rebellious rejection at any level in your household.  Or anytime you feel a sense of personal rejection that comes with rebellious attitudes, backtalk, personal accusations or other behavior!  

As a second mom, whether you’ve adopted or stepped into the role of motherhood, you know the heart and effort you pour into nurturing your child or teen. You meticulously plan, pray over your strategies, and practice every form of parenting wisdom you’ve found. You strive to be beneficial without triggering, functional without causing division, and helpful without being invasive. Yet, despite these fervent efforts… …there are days when everything seems to fall apart

What is a VIP Day Intensive? And how can this help me?Very good questions!! 🤗As a Christian adoptive mother, you’ve embraced a unique calling.  Many of us are blending our families made up of both biological kids and adopted kiddos. Or more than one adopted child.  It’s not uncommon to face intense dysfunctional behaviors and patterns that can leave you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the best path forward.As a fellow Christian adoptive mom, I understand the non-traditional path we're on. Bringing together a blended adoptive family is an incredible and meaningful journey, filled with love and God's purpose. But, let's be real—it also presents its own set of challenges beyond the run-of-the-mill variety.  Behaviors and patterns you (or those around you) never expected or encountered before can feel daunting, leaving you unsure about the right steps to take

As we gather together in our shared journey of parenting teens with significant early childhood trauma histories, it's essential to pause and reflect on the complex behaviors we face daily. I've been thinking about the historical roles of children and how they might offer us insights into better supporting our young ones today.In times past, by the age of 15, 16, or 17, young people were often thrust into adult roles, shouldering responsibilities that mirrored those of grown-ups. They worked hard, contributing to their households or finding their place in the world independently. This was the expectation, and it channeled their youthful energy and drive into productive endeavors.

 Personal Boundaries are essential for setting yourself up for success as a second mom!Whether you're raising adopted children, stepchildren, or the children of relatives, you're navigating an incredible journey filled with both significant challenges and rich rewards.   As we venture into this new year, it's the perfect time to consider how we can set healthy personal boundaries that empower us to thrive as individuals and parents.

Unless you're new to my content (or just missed it somehow) you may have heard about my authentic modeling method and wondered just what I was talking about.  Today, you’ll be happy to learn that I’m going to show you everything you need to know about my authentic modeling method but were afraid to ask, including how to differentiate it from its cousins too "tough love" and the "gentle parenting" trap/trend.  I hope this post encourages you that you don't have to choose between either extreme. You'll be ready to own your second mom role knowing you can maximize your positive parental influence while remaining true to your values and personal commitments. 

If you've adopted a child (or three!) in the past year or so, despite getting into a routine and getting to know each other better, you feel a sense of loss as the reality of your "new normal" has set in.  You may find yourself thinking wistfully of those pre-adoption days and what you have essentially given up.Don’t Gaslight YourselfDon’t gaslight yourself. Your feelings of loss and grief are valid. You will all likely experience them in the days, weeks, months, years to come. You’ll continue to have adjustments to make. You’ll continue to have opportunities to model moving through grief and loss to your children. 

Parenting is rarely straightforward, but when it comes to adoption, the journey takes on added challenges. One of the profound pieces of this puzzle is recognizing the ongoing effects of the trauma background your child may carry, how it impacts their behaviors and perceptions—especially their belief (or fear) that they may be unlovable, leading them to approach close relationships defensively.Even as the most prepared adoptive parent, experiencing your incredible love and dedication reflected back with wariness or even rejection from your child can be destabilizing. 

For eons it seems, we’ve been hearing that heaping on more praise is the best, maybe even the ONLY way to encourage our children, to motivate them, to get them to take action. I just read something from yet another frustrated mom sharing about her dilemma with the same message, selling the same pitch. And since everyone seems to be saying it, it must be true. Right? Uhh… no. This mom's dilemma went something like this: People say I should praise my child more and tell him I'm proud of him...but when I do he goes ballistic!I think most of this advice is coming from a place of good intentions. But it’s easy advice. And not only does one specific method or strategy not work for everyone, but excessive praise also definitely isn’t the best option out there. Also, how do you know that these “experts” are following their own advice? Or that they’re getting great results just adding more and more praise for children with similar histories to yours?It seems to me that you can spend a lot of time feeling frustrated or like a failure because you're efforts at heaping on additional praise aren't working for you when you’re not the problem! I know because back when one of my daughters was going through a hard phase, I tried encouraging and motivating her, intentionally praising her more, and I just didn’t get great results. In fact, I got a window into her world when she told me how it made her feel when one of her teachers would "cheer" her, especially in front of the class.  Was that ever an eye-opener!  I learned that the teacher's praise caused her to feel pressure that in turn, had the opposite result of what was intended.  

Do you know or suspect that your adopted child with a trauma history has periods, however brief, of dissociation? Not by ChoiceDissociation in a nutshell is an involuntary disconnect from your body, mind and/or surroundings. It’s an involuntary episode that like a seizure, is not something your child is intentionally choosing to do. And your child's early trauma may be a risk factor for turning on this survival mechanism. A reminder to yourself that this isn't voluntary, along with an awareness of the specifics of how it tends to play out in your affected child when a dissociation episode happens,