Does your child or teen tend to overreact with excessive & prolonged drama or explosive behavior? Let’s talk about it…
When their overreacting is actually a trauma response
…Today, we're diving deep into an essential trauma tip for adoptive moms. It's all about the ability to CALM DOWN – something that can be particularly challenging for traumatized kids. The key concept here revolves around understanding that their brains and bodies are not as efficient in down-regulating from a heightened state of amygdala activation.
Now, let's break that down.
Amygdala Activation
When a child has experienced trauma, their amygdala—the part of the brain that processes emotions and triggers the body's fight-or-flight response—becomes hyperactive. This heightened state means that they remain on high alert for longer periods and find it incredibly challenging to calm down. It's not just about emotional regulation; it's a physiological response.
As adoptive moms, it's crucial to recognize that what may seem like an overreaction or a deliberate refusal to calm down is actually a reflection of the trauma they've endured. Their ability to settle down takes more time and space than you might initially feel is necessary. Understand that this extra time and space are not only helpful but essential for their healing process.
Practicing the Pause
With this understanding we can recognize the benefit to pressing pause on addressing whatever the causal factor was with our child and first support them through the calm down process.
So, how can you support your child in these moments of heightened stress? Especially when you’re stressed too!
Here are a few tips:
1. Stay Calm Yourself:
Your calmness can serve as an anchor for your child. Breathe deeply, speak softly, and maintain a steady, reassuring presence.
2. Create a Safe Space:
Ensure that your home environment feels safe and comforting. This can be their room, a cozy corner, or anywhere they can retreat to feel secure.
3. Practice Patience:
Give them the time they need to calm down. Understand that rushing the process can exacerbate their anxiety.
4. Use Comforting Tools:
You can trial & error this. It might help to incorporate calming essential oils or a weighted blanket, even noise cancelling headphones and hard candy to aid in creating a relaxing atmosphere depending on your child’s preferences.
These same supportive measures can be helpful for you too!
Remember, this journey requires compassion and understanding…for your child as well as yourself. You're not alone in this. I invite you to join our “Circle of Second Moms” guided support group, where you can find guidance tailored for adoptive moms navigating similar challenges.
And as always,
KEEP LEARNING - KEEP GROWING - KEEP LOVING
💜🩷♥️
Dawn
