🎧 Listen to episode
Safety Planning for Second Moms
___
By Dawn T. Baggett, JD
Why the Focus on Safety Just for Moms?
Let’s tackle this introductory question before getting into this replay episode…why focus on your safety, mom?
Maybe because it’s so overlooked.
Maybe because of the story from just last week in which a mom in one of my Facebook groups was killed by her 18 year old son?
Maybe because I know from experience and from others that moms are often blamed rather than helped when they reach out to family, friends, experts and authorities.
Maybe because it’s time.
Time to stop passing the blame, passing judgment, and passing on opportunities to support struggling families in our midst. Time for people to wake up and realize that despite the Mother’s Day card sentiments, or Adoption Gotcha Day Facebook photos, adoption is not a magic wand that erases severe developmental trauma in a child.
Mothers are more than babysitters and it’s not as easy as pulling a child from one family and popping them into another, despite the Foster Care system in our country. (Don’t get me started!)
And precisely because the needed support is not generally there, moms hold on until…until....they can't.
Moms are normally going to plan and pray and do near impossible feats to keep their children safe, their family intact, to keep the wheels rolling.
But at whose expense?
Her own.
So I focus on safety first for second moms because mom, YOU need to know that your safety is KEY. If your safety doesn’t matter to you, then why would you expect your safety to matter to anyone else?
I believe you’re showing your family that they and their safety matters to you. But they need to know yours matters, too. They’re watching you.
They’ll see how you do it.
How you prioritize your own safety while still valuing theirs.
This is how they’ll be able to do it for themselves someday.
Your safety is a bigger issue than you alone.
This isn’t about sacrifice for a bigger purpose. It isn’t about service over selfishness. Of course you sacrifice and serve your family, your children. But failing to steward your own safety when failure to do so helps no one and has no redeeming value is not the same thing. Steward your safety and show your children and others how it’s done.
Replay Episode Show Notes
Safety Planning Intro Course
Find the Safety First for Second Moms introductory planning course & Audit resource HERE. Or click the red button below.
You’ll find the three phases of creating your safety plan in the guide and when you’re ready, send me your plan draft for review. I’ll be that second set of eyes on your safety plan to help ensure it’s a solid plan for your expressed needs in this season or current situation.
IMPORTANT: If you are experiencing an urgent safety matter get emergency help immediately. Call 911 in the US.
Otherwise, let’s get a safety plan in place before things get worse. Click below.
💬 Share your comments, questions or other feedback on this blog post with the “contact” option in the dropdown menu at the top of this page
OR
Drop me a note at hi@thepostadoptionmomcoach.org
